How To Stop Getting Hurt By Guys
Men as much as women are frightened of giving our love and then being betrayed.
It’s probably already happened to you. It happens to most of us at least once.
Whether through a lie, an affair, or a broken promise, the people we love can betray us in a thousand different ways.
Some betrayals are like paper cuts that sting badly at first, but heal without scarring. Other betrayals cut us so deep we are damaged forever.
How can you stay safe when you fall for a guy?
Remember you're not thinking straight
Falling in love sweeps you off your feet. You’re in a different world; everything is perfect. Those rose-colored glasses transform him into a valiant knight, the most noble of men.
But new love is a form of insanity. Feel-good chemicals like dopamine flood your brain. It is impossible to see him clearly until this honeymoon period fades, which usually takes at least six months.
There’s a not-so-simple remedy: try to allow for the distortion.
Recognize that your mind is not working at its best. Take things slowly, no matter how passionate you feel. Wait a while before trusting him with the big things.
You’ll know that you’re coming back to your senses when you realize he’s not quite perfect. You don’t think alike on everything. You have your first big row.
The end of the honeymoon period can feel as brutal as having a bucket of cold water dumped on your head. But that bucket of cold water also wakes you up.
In the harsh light of day, you’ll find that you can trust him on most things but not everything. You can trust him to be faithful and care about you, but maybe not to pay the bills on time or pickup the groceries on his way home. And that’s fair enough. Trust should be realistic.
Trust him only as much as he respects you
Some men will challenge you:
“Why don’t you trust me? Don’t you love me? You can't do if you’re not going to trust me on this.”
This argument sounds convincing. Of course you love him, and it does make sense that you should trust someone you love.
But he’s manipulating you.
Loving and trusting are two separate things. Just ask any mother. She can love her children to the moon and back, but there's no way she's going to trust them with matches or knives.
Trust needs to be matched to specific situations and a proven track record.
A man who respects you will understand that. He won’t pressurize you into doing something you're not ready for. He’ll understand that trust takes time.
In general, the more he respects you, the more you can trust him.
When you do trust, accept the risks
Love is a risky proposition. No matter how careful you are, there’s always a good chance of things not working out. The moment you love someone else, you open yourself up to being hurt. You can’t know what the outcome will be.
And that’s not a bad thing.
The greatest rewards often require great risks. Failures, wrong turns, and despair litter the road to victory. You can’t avoid being hurt if youwant love in your life.
What you need to know is this: No matter what happens, you can handle it.
Give yourself permission to get hurt. Accept the risks inherent in love. Trust yourself to be strong enough. Because the trust you place in your own strength has a way of revealing your hidden reserves, your resourcefulness, and the new future that awaits you.
Oh, and one more thing. The best way to avoid getting burned is to have knowledge that allows you to predict the future. Knowledge is power precisely because it lets you predict things other people miss.
As a relationship coach, I spend a lot of time trying to predict what will happen next in relationships. Sometimes I’m right, sometimes I’m wrong. But there’s one secret I’ve discovered that gives me an unfair advantage.
It’s an advantage you can use too. It allows you to understand why men respond the way they do in romantic relationships. With that knowledge, you gain more than insight into the future. You’ll actually learn how to pull at a man’s heartstrings in a way he simply can’t resist.
I’d like to share this secret with you. If you’d like to learn more, here's a very short presentation that explains how it works and what you can do to make this secret your own.
Always on your side,
P.S. - If you haven't watched my presentation on What Men REALLY Want, you can do that now below.
Check out more articles by James...