If you’ve ever been frustrated by a man’s behavior, if you’ve ever wished he would open up more, if you wished you knew how to make him realize that you are THE best woman for him …
Then you should try this video right now:
Let’s face it: Most guys are not emotional and do not open up emotionally.
Women wish they would, but the majority men just won’t.
Have you ever really wondered why?
Are they afraid they will look weak?
Is it just not in their genetic makeup to express their emotions?
In this post, I’d like to discuss with you some reasons why men don’t open up emotionally and how you can encourage men to share their deep feelings with you more often.
As we all know, men and women are born with many relationship differences on many varying levels.
One biological difference is the way men and women express feelings.
When it comes to brain makeup, men’s Corpus Callosum is smaller than women’s. The Corpus Callosum is the part of the brain that allows one to think and feel simultaneously.
Due to the smaller size in men, it causes men to have a more difficult time thinking and talking about emotions at the same time.
In ancient times, men have been the silent hunter and provider for the family. Men learned to deal with fear and emotions by problem-solving.
Men today still tend to be the primary breadwinners of families.
They do experience feelings and emotions, but they are more apt to express them by engaging in a sport with friends or screaming at the television during a football game.
Men Are Simply Quiet
Most men simply aren’t talkers, so they just won’t open up emotionally to their partner.
Women take their silence as rejection or figure that he doesn’t care, but that is not the case.
Men do have emotions and fears, but for them to let them ooze out to everyone would make them feel weak and vulnerable.
They want to come across as strong, and even when they do open up emotionally, it will not be a full-fledged outpouring like women are capable.
Understanding that men and women are just different in this respect, and it’s all right.
Men Fear Rejection
Some men fear that if they do open up emotionally, they will face rejection, even in longterm relationships.
Perhaps they had an experience growing up in which they faced a disappointment or unfortunate circumstance and opened up to someone who ridiculed them or told them they were a sissy.
Kids in school can be quite cruel, so most male teenagers do their best to avoid intimacy and vulnerability.
Men Open Up by Performing Actions
If your man doesn’t get all mushy with you when it comes to feelings of love, don’t take it personally.
For most men, it does not even cross their mind to sit down in conversation with their partners and discuss their emotions.
They are trained since childhood to hold emotions in and keep it under control.
Be strong and deal with everything life throws at you, rather than sharing thoughts and needs with others.
They may say, “I love you” sometimes, but if you are expecting long speeches about their undying love for you, the fact is you will be disappointed.
Men tend to express their love through actions rather than words, such as giving gifts, taking care of their woman’s car, or watching a chick flick together.
They also like to build connection by planning a vacation or going out to dinner. Look to see what actions your guy may be performing that you are overlooking. They could be an expression of his love, a kind of communication in a sense.
How You Can Help
First of all, don’t expect your guy to be like the girls when it comes to openness.
Most guys, when asked how they are feeling, will answer, “I’m good”, and that is really all they want to share.
When women start prodding and nagging for details, it does not make them want to share anything more about their world; it actually pushes them away and causes them to shut down emotionally. Any mother of teenage boys knows this doesn’t work.
Refrain from persistent attention and questions like:
Are you sure you’re OK?
What’s really bothering you?
You don’t seem OK. What’s wrong?
Why won’t you ever talk to me?
Rest assured that if your man wants to open up emotionally, he will when he is ready.
Give him time to think about what he is feeling. Few men have the female ability to instantly recognise and articulate their thoughts on issues and situations. He may need some process time, and space to be alone. This is normal male behavior, and not necessarily a sign of problems or disconnection.
Let him know that you are always available to listen to him if he wants to open up, and then be patient. And when he does start a conversation, then really listen to him.
Don’t try to fix him or the issue; just show interest, empathy and acceptance. Do not, at this beginning stage of self-disclosure, show any signs of judgement or frustration.
Let him know that he is still a strong and successful man even if he shares his feelings with you.
It is critical that he feels heard and supported or he won’t continue to share.
Remember, men and women communicate differently, and men are more apt to mull over their feelings in their mind rather than release them.
Accept the difference, and do your best to trust and support your man, regardless if he meets your expectations or not.
I hope you have found this helpful and that you are enjoying your journey to becoming whole in every way.
If you haven’t already, make sure you check out James Bauer’s new video:
You’ll discover how to be “the one” he loves forever.