How To Seduce Your Man (Without Acting Trashy)

Any man with a pulse will agree this is a seductive woman.

She’s not classically beautiful, so what is it she has? (And I’m not referring to her two obvious assets.)


She’s doing plenty of other tricks (and we’ll talk about those later), but her attitude is what makes it all work. Seducing your man is more about mind than body.

Think like a seductress

You’re not competing with size 6 sex-symbols. You’re fighting against a more powerful foe; the negative self-talk in your head. While it’s a fact that men are visually focused, we are certainly not blind to atmosphere and mood. He won’t notice that your hair is due a cut; he will notice that you’re worrying about how you look. He won’t notice that your skirt is creased; but he will sense that you’re thinking about the pile of ironing.

The seductress does not care about other women. Her aim is to be the most attractive version of herself she can. She knows men don’t judge others the way women do. She understands that sexiness has little to do with her physical appearance.

Sexy women love life, love themselves, and make men feel good

So, with the right attitude clearly in mind, here’s how to seduce your husband. These tips might seem obvious, but you won’t find them in women’s magazines. What women think a guy should find sexy, and what actually turns us on, are often quite different things.

Show some skin

Now, I know we’re looking for a classy seduction rather than a porno casting-session, but you can’t be too subtle. Remember when you first met your partner? You were showing blatant signs of interest, he thought you were ignoring him? Men are pretty dense when it comes to interpreting women’s signals.

The goal is to get him interested before you take anything off, but this doesn’t mean you should dress like a Victorian Nanny (unless that’s his thing of course).

If you’ve both been together for a while, consider something slightly different from your usual outfit. A gentle lingerie experiment, a variation on you rather than an unrecognisable you. We talked about men’s need for variety and surprise in why men look at other women.

Leaving some skin exposed gets his mind moving in the right direction. Leaving more skin covered makes him curious, and hints at pleasures to come. 

Seductive rather than skanky. Take a look here for Pinterest inspiration.

Off-the-shoulder, with a chance that it might slip lower, is powerfully suggestive. Personally, I don’t think you can beat a deeeeeep backless dress for classy eroticism. [ Don’t worry, I won’t be sharing any more of my fetishes 😉 ].

So show whatever part you like the most. And perhaps draw attention to the goodies with a choker, anklet, layered necklace nestling low.

If you’re not up for revealing a little more cleavage or leg than normal, there are other ways to show your body to your guy, while still keeping it covered.

Jiggly bits in, Spanx out.

He needs to be reminded there’s a real woman in front of him. A tight thin top, making it obvious you’re not wearing a bra. Breasts swaying naturally under loose clothes. The much-maligned yoga pants (sans VPL). Be confident: he’s with you, he desires you, he will like what he sees.

Set the scene, build the suspense

  • On a night out with friends, return from the bathroom and stealthily push your scrunched-up panties into his hand. (This is easier to do if you’ve taken them off first.)
  • In the check-out queue, slowly press your buttocks into him.
  • Text him at work, describe what’s going to happen to him this evening in bed. “Husband, when you get home, I’ll …”.
  • At the restaurant, bend forward to give him a view of all you’ve got. Be blatant, let him know you’re putting on a show, for him. Watch him worship your body, gaze into his eyes when he finally looks up. My wife does this, and it’s sexy not only because of what I see, but because I know she’s turned on and doing it for us.
  • At a crowded party, walk by him and brush his arm with your silk covered breasts.
  • Watch an erotic movie together. Not a porno; something intelligent and stylish. Try Before Sunrise or In the Mood for Love.

Use your mouth on him

No, not that way, not yet anyway.

Smile A radiant smile when you first see him reminds him how important he is, and instantly cheers him up.

But in this setting think coy, mysterious, shy. It’s as much in the eyes as the mouth. Princess Diana used this smile to charm the world. [Ridiculous tip: try out some different smiles in the mirror. I know, you’re not a teenager anymore, grown women don’t do that. But not only will it improve your sex life, it will make you more photogenic, and make you happier.]

Draw attention to your lips and tongue. This is a cliché, but it works if done subtly. Think:

  • teasingly running your fingertip
  • along full red glistening lips
  • your tongue-tip delicately
  • licking the rim of your glass

Dial it down a level, and watch him squirm!

Body language

Use everything you’ve got.

Play with your hair A simple twirl of your head or wrapping you hair around your finger should do the trick.

Move into his body space Briefly, and then move back out. Foreplay without hands

Light touches Nothing sends shivers down a man’s spine like the touch of a woman he likes. Do it when you are talking or passing him. Almost accidentally, pretend unintentionally, but held a second too long.

Let him watch As far as I’m concerned the only thing better than boobs and butts, is boobs and butts in motion. And every man I know agrees. So let him watch that glorious body as you sway across the bedroom.

Stay relaxed Admittedly, it might be difficult while you’re concentrating on this list of rules. This is for training in advance.

On the night itself, give yourself a little ego-boosting pep-talk, and then stop thinking. Be in the moment, let your ancient feminine instincts work their magic. If you must think, think only of how much you want him. Seduction is a game, it’s fun. Truly, he will appreciate everything you do, so stop stressing!

Make him feel like a man

This is not the time to be PC. It doesn’t harm to state the obvious: men like women. So revel in your feminine side. Just for tonight, act weak and in need of protecting. Note that I said “act weak” not “be weak”. You’re in charge here, you’re still calling all the shots.

So as a contrast to your femininity, build up what makes him different to you:

  • Snuggle into his broad chest.
  • Ask him to re-arrange the furniture, then playfully squeeze his biceps.
  • Compliment and praise him – genuinely.

This woman gets it.

Be wild, be hungry

Your mother might have taught you to be ladylike and restrained. Useful when you’re meeting his boss perhaps, but not tonight. Tonight, you need to lose all inhibitions.

Become the

sexy enigma

he first knew

I suspect many men are slightly embarrassed by their sexual needs, and can feel ashamed if their woman doesn’t share them. There is nothing sexier than a woman who surrenders to her own sexuality. Let him see your desire. Entice him. Show him how much you would like need sex, with him… now. What the heck, show the world how much you want him.

You sex kitten you

Key points:

  • He worships your body. Let him.
  • Tease him.
  • Accentuate your femininity. Appreciate his masculinity.
  • Remind him of the goddess he first met.

But most important is your attitude. One last time, repeat after me:

If you think you’re hot, then he thinks you’re hot!

Why men lose interest

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